The Highly Sensitive Personality Trait—Are you an HSP? by Sophia Kopelow (Associate Counsellor)

Aug 4

Photo Credit: Tiana Leeds

“This excessive sensitiveness very often brings an enrichment of the personality...Only, when difficult and unusual situations arise, the advantage frequently turns into a very great disadvantage, since calm consideration is then disturbed by untimely affects. Nothing could be more mistaken, though, than to regard this excessive sensitiveness as in itself a pathological character component. If that were really so, we should have to rate about one quarter of humanity as pathological” (C.G. Jung, 1913)

The term “Highly Sensitive Person” (HSP) was coined by the psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron. Despite the fact that 15-20% of the general population has a highly attuned nervous system and would identify as an HSP, many people with this trait feel “different”, “strange”, “too much” or “not enough” their entire lives. I was first introduced to this normal yet highly misunderstood trait from my own therapist and remember feeling a wave of relief wash over me. I felt seen and validated in a way I never had before—there was nothing “wrong” with me, I just struggled to function in a society that values sensory overstimulation and a fast-paced lifestyle. I would beat myself up for not having the “energy” to socialize in large groups and pack multiple activities into a day. I felt ashamed by the fact that I would become overwhelmed and frazzled quicker than my friends. While these internalized messages still get to me at times, I’m also able to brush them off more easily and accept my sensitivity as a strength and resource rather than a pathology.

The DOES Model

Of course not all HSP’s are the same, but many people with this trait can be described using the DOES model created by Dr. Elaine Aron (2020):

D: Depth of processing–At the foundation of the trait of high sensitivity is the tendency to process information more deeply. HSPs simply process everything more, relating and comparing what they notice to their past experience with other similar things. For example, when it comes to conscious decision-making, they may be slower than others due to thinking over all the options so carefully.

O: Overstimulation— Dr. Aron’s research shows that HSPs are easily stressed by overstimulation (including social stimulation), and therefore tend to avoid intense situations more than others do. If one is going to notice every little thing in a situation, and if the situation is complicated (many things to remember), intense (noisy, cluttered, etc.), or goes on too long (a two-hour commute), it seems obvious that they will also have to wear out sooner from having to process so much. Others, not noticing much or any of what individuals with the highly sensitive trait have, will not tire as quickly. Our tendency towards overarousal is the natural result of our brains working overtime to try to process all the stimuli we take in from our environment as a result of our sensory sensitivity.

E: Emotional Reactivity & Empathy— Most HSPs feel emotions intensely ( both pleasant and unpleasant). Our emotional intensity is closely related to our empathy for others. Having felt pain so keenly ourselves, we can perceptively sense what others might be feeling. On the other hand, this empathy can short-circuit our own self-care if we neglect our own needs for fear of hurting others.

S: Sensing the Subtle— HSPs will often notice things that others miss. Our awareness of subtleties is useful in an infinite number of ways, from simple pleasure in life to strategizing our response based on our awareness of others’ nonverbal cues (that they may have no idea they are giving off) about their mood or trustworthiness. Of course, on the other hand, when we are worn out we may be the least aware of anything, subtle or obvious, except our own need for a break.

That said, it’s important to remember that no two HSPs are the same, and may behave quite differently. This model is a great general guideline for understanding high sensitivity but it is not foolproof or an accurate description of everyone’s experience.

For a more comprehensive assessment, I recommend this free self-test created by Dr. Aron to determine whether you are highly sensitive or not: https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

Gifts & Challenges Associated with The Trait

As a result of being easily over-aroused and having stronger emotional reactions, highly sensitive individuals can be especially vulnerable to the effects of a troubled childhood; thus, leading to higher levels of depression, anxiety and challenges with self-esteem. In addition, HSPs commonly struggle with trying to imitate the non-sensitive lifestyle, failing to consider their different physiology. Taking in and processing so much information from both inner and outer worlds can be “too much” at times, resulting in more pain, fatigue, stress, overwhelm and burnout. It is natural for us to want to “fit in” and belong to the majority, however ignoring one’s needs usually isn’t sustainable for long, and is likely to result in poor mental health. . Highly sensitive individuals may also have stronger reactions to criticism and experience more shame than the non-sensitive. Again, it doesn’t help that highly sensitive people are often told to “toughen up” or “to stop being so sensitive or quiet”, implying that sensitivity makes us weak. These internalized messages (from family, friends, society, culture, etc.) perpetuate the cycle of shame and difficulties with accepting one’s authentic self.

In spite of these challenges, HSPs also have numerous strengths and gifts that stem from their sensitivity, and it can in fact be a very powerful asset. For instance, highly sensitive people are often skilled at noticing little details, allowing them to be able to anticipate the needs of others, which is a major advantage in relationships and at work. Additionally, HSPs tend to feel deeply connected to the world around them, are conscientious, and often quite caring, empathetic, and emotionally responsive towards the needs of others. They also tend to have heightened perception, insight, intuition, and a rich inner world allowing for creativity and introspection.

Coping Strategies

Again, I want to emphasize that while the majority of people aren’t highly sensitive, it is NOT a disorder or diagnosis. There are, however, a number of strategies that may be particularly helpful for those who identify with the trait:

Learn and educate yourself about the trait. Discover your unique needs and become skilled at avoiding overdoing or undergoing it.
Practice separating from internalized messages stemming from a less sensitive culture that don’t serve or belong to you.
Practice self-compassion and self-acceptance.
Practice reframing your past (i.e. so many of your “failures” were inevitable because neither you nor your parents, teachers, friends and colleagues understood you)
Engage in self-soothing strategies for overarousal ( i.e. take frequent breaks, go outside, go for a walk, calm your breathing, smile, get out of the situation/environment if possible, close your eyes).
Practice setting boundaries and giving yourself permission to rest.
Find other HSPs to talk to and explain your trait to others.
Seek professional support from a therapist who specializes in or is familiar with the trait.

If you are a highly sensitive person and you would like to discuss how therapy can help you or someone you love thrive, please contact me for support or additional resources. As a therapist who identifies as an HSP herself, I specialize in helping others love and appreciate their unique and sometimes challenging personalities and nervous systems.