The Other Side of Anxiety’s Narrative by Jennifer Nguyen (Associate Counsellor)
Photo Credit: Todd Trapani
The feeling of anxiousness is a common and shared experience. We may experience anxiousness as feeling nervous, worried, stressed, uncertain, or restless. We may also experience churning in our stomach, dizziness, headaches, body tension, sweating, or increased heart rate.
There can be various situations where feelings of anxiousness occur; an upcoming test, presentation, social event or party, meeting someone new, getting into an argument, ending a relationship, or life transitions such as transitioning to high school, post-secondary or post-graduate, starting or quitting a job, choosing a new career, moving cities, becoming a parent, etc.
Our emotional and physical reactions to new changes, situations and experiences are normal. As humans, we have an innate desire to predict and control certain aspects of our future.
Thereby, oftentimes, anxiety fuels us. We need a certain amount of anxiety to help us improve our attention and problem-solving skills, motivate us to work harder toward a goal, or even warn us about a potential threat.
However, sometimes anxiety can be paralyzing.
Anxiety can cause intense distress. It can make us feel like we are unable to cope with it all. In turn, it can affect various domains in our lives: individual (personal well-being), intrapersonal (family/close relationships), and social (work/school/friendships).
In these times, it is common to seek treatment from professionals. Some approaches to working with anxiety take a pathologizing stance like “something is wrong with you, and let’s work to fix it and get rid of it.”
However, another approach that could be beneficial is an inquisitive stance.
What would shift if we perceived anxiety differently?
What if we thought of anxiety as separate from ourselves? What if rather than pathologizing our anxiety, we invited anxiety into our life? What if we asked what anxiety wants from us or what it’s trying to tell us?
As a fellow human and a therapist, this is the stance that I choose to implement. I refer to an Existential approach to anxiety, Where anxiety is a part of being human, and it is foundational to our existence. The experience of anxiety is seen as a “dizziness of freedom”, due to being confronted with responsibility and choices.
Thereby, anxiety is:
A powerful motivational force towards change and growth,
A voice calling us back from avoidance,
Solidifying our values and purposes,
Encouraging us to become aware of our responsibility in life, and
Moving us toward meaningfulness and authenticity.
Hence, the goal is to change the narrative of anxiety by encouraging people to hear what anxiety is telling them about the way they are engaging with themselves, others, and the world.
The next time you notice anxiety creeping into your life, I challenge you to become friends with anxiety and become curious about what it wants from you by:
Observing anxiety without judgment,
Talking to yourself with kindness,
Allowing it to be there without trying to suppress or deny it, and
Becoming curious about what it is telling you.
Rather than trying to get "rid of" anxiety, try to "lean into" anxiety and see the possibilities and opportunities it offers.
Anxiety is like a juncture in the road; encouraging us to slow down, become aware of our choices, and make decisions that align with who we are.
