Burnout: An argument for the spaces between
Photo Credit: Earl Wilcox
Anyone else get the feeling these days that work is creeping into every crevice of every corner of our lives? It seems that covid has largely affected people in one of two ways with regards to work. Either we are starved for work or we are drinking through a fire hose. There is too little, none at all, or it has infiltrated every aspect of our lives. With respectful acknowledgement of folks who are parched for work, this blog is dedicated to those who are both fortunate to be working and drained of spark, meaning, and joy.
In this post, I intend to unpack the reasons and ways that work has insidiously crept into every spare moment and explore how we can, in the famous words of Maxine Waters, “Reclaim our Time.” Not only reclaim our time but reclaim our space, our feeling for life, our spark, our Selves.
Burnout is a catchphrase that is thrown around a lot these days, but what does it really mean?
The website Psychology Today defines burnout:
“Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress. Though it’s most often caused by problems at work, it can also appear in other areas of life, such as parenting, caretaking, or romantic relationships.”
Burnout in this time in particular is multilayered. Not only does it involve occupational work and personal obligations, but also involves navigating cultural, racial, and social upheavals, a global pandemic, and an environmental crisis that threatens to obliterate humankind.
And maybe these things are not always in our consciousness. It would be impossible to hold all of it in consciousness even if we tried, lest our minds implode. That said, the information has to go somewhere. Beneath the threshold of consciousness our psyches are working overtime attempting to process. From decisions around how close to stand to someone and which milk to buy with the least environmental footprint, to the grief about hearing about the latest hate crime or mass murder there is A LOT going on.
For those of us who are fortunate or unfortunate enough (depending on our home circumstances) to be working from home, the spaces between have narrowed. The spaces that were previously written into our days that forced us, whether we liked it or not, to be less productive, to sit in traffic, to make small talk with co-workers, to walk outside to get lunch or a coffee, they threw us into a space that was not dictated by productivity. Our feelings about these spaces may have ranged from mundane experience to frustration and annoyance, however we have felt about them, I argue that we have taken them for granted. They are now in danger of extinction and as it often unfolds in human experience, we don’t know what we have until it is gone.
The spaces between home and work, between work and the coffee shop, between one task to another have narrowed or disappeared. Of course, this can be viewed positively in some ways. Eliminating the commute to and from work means that we can “save” up to a few hours of time each day. But what if that time to and from work were important padding, a forced ritual pause in a culture that equates value with manic productivity and our ability to crush to-do lists? These previous spaces allowed our minds to wander in non-linear ways, a time for digestion and metabolizing of experience, for insight and creativity to arise. On the one hand, these spaces may have been pressed up against sweaty strangers in the skytrain or stuck in traffic and late for work, on the other they were rituals that contained psychological energy, structured and ordered our days. The pre-pandemic spaces between were not perfect by any means, but now they are in danger of being extinct, and I say it is time for a resurrection and reclamation.
Another aspect of a pandemic and post-pandemic (hopefully) world is that without these spaces to create boundaries and differentiate between work and home, all these disparate aspects of life get muddled up into a toxic cocktail. The ability to multitask is a highly coveted trait in hiring employees, it is put on a pedestal and it is something that many aspire to, and if not aspire to - we mash ourselves into the experience anyway. In order to focus and to have clarity, a sense of ease, and spaciousness, the psyche needs differentiation, discernment, boundaries, containment. Even if we are able to focus for a few hours at a time on work at home, the walk to the bathroom often entails noticing laundry that is waiting to be done, dishes in the sink, or screaming children in the other room.
Do you ever find yourself getting a load of laundry in before a zoom meeting? Checking your email while you wait for the kettle to boil? Preparing dinner between calls? These actions seem harmless enough, and sure, a part of us can feel like we are being more productive, yet we are not robots with the sole mission of getting things done, and these seemingly mundane and harmless actions may be doing more harm than we think.
Here is a problem-solving equation for you:
How does a productivity-obsessed culture + personal obligations + a world pandemic + social upheaval + impending environmental apocalypse + loss of the spaces between connect with a greater draw toward work?
Work can distract from isolation, loneliness, and chaos in a world that feels outside of control, it is something we can cling to in uncertainty. It can fill those spaces that are so important and yet so uncomfortable. It can give a sense of purpose, meaning and control. The paradox is that it can do all of these things and yet at the same time amplify their destructive elements.
We can turn to work for protection, numbing, avoidance, and distraction, and certainly it can help up to a certain point. Then its shadowy aspects appear and contribute to more overwhelm, isolation, and meaninglessness. Burnout is the thief of joy and stomps out any spark of aliveness that may have a fighting chance at flame.
The more out of our control and unpredictable our personal and world circumstances are, it makes sense that we would seek greater control, predictability, and safety. How can we reclaim our time, our energy, and ourselves?
Consciously create the spaces between.
Now more than ever it is important to integrate these spaces into our lives BY CHOICE. Which is way easier said than done. Because the “I’m not being productive” monster is sure to rear its ugly head whenever we attempt to carve out time for ourselves.
Choose music or silence over podcasts.
Sounds radical right? We as a culture are obsessed with content, consuming more and more without giving ourselves space to integrate. Our minds need to wander sometimes, to be free and autonomous.
Build very tall and solid boundaries around work.
Get very clear on your boundaries around work. Write them down. Implement them. And when you cross them (most likely you will because you are human), without judgement get clear on your boundaries again. Create a ritual, routine space before and after work marking when work begins and ends. Schedule breaks and take them. When you are done with your laptop, put it away- whether that is zipping it up in a sleeve or putting it in a drawer, or both.
Create a morning routine.
Before you open your laptop or check your phone- make it a ritual to have some time before to write, exercise, read, eat or whatever it is that nourishes you. It doesn’t have to be the same every day as long as it provides time and space before beginning your workday.
Practice smartphone hygiene.
Does it ever seem that you are not in control of your phone, that it is in control of you? You are not alone, friend. Here are some smartphone hygiene practices that can help reclaim your time, energy, and self.
Delete and reinstall social media and email apps when needed. We all have our own journeys and what works and doesn’t work for us can change with time. Personally, I do not have social media apps on my phone and I used to delete my work Gmail on weekends and reinstall it on Monday. Now I’ve decided to live in 2005 and just don’t have my work email on my phone. I know this is not realistic for everyone, and after many years of feeling like my phone had power over me, I have had to set a hard boundary with it. I know that I can open my laptop at any time and that it is all contained there, on my own terms.
Adjust notification settings. There is nothing like waking up and finding an overwhelming amount of notifications from your phone to amp up the nervous system and take us outside of ourselves from minute one of waking consciousness. Take your power back, set your phone to do-not-disturb, and choose what time feels right to unlock it or turn notifications off.
In my opinion, the most effective (and extreme for all those rebels out there) practice is keeping your phone outside of the bedroom. Get an old-school alarm clock. Instead of scrolling in bed, read. meditate. make love.
It is time to reclaim our humanity, to allow space, to feel joy, to revive and resuscitate the soul that has been starved through the deprivation of the spaces between. When we consciously reclaim our time through setting these boundaries and ritual acts of space taking, we build trust with our psyches and selves, and the easier it becomes to breathe, be present, and act on our behalf moving forward.
