Demystifying Personal Complexes
Photo Credit: Rui Xu
Complexes. We all have them. They infiltrate our lives, take hold of us in their perseverations, obsessions, and compulsions, and it can feel impossible to weasel our way out of their insidious grips. But what are they really?
From a depth psychology perspective, the psyche has an autonomous nature and complexes play an integral role in its autonomy. It is thought that not only is psyche autonomous, but it is a multiplicity, meaning that our psyches are made up of many autonomous parts that have differing personalities, opinions, and responses to our day-to-day lives.
Complexes are structures in our psyche, building blocks that can connect us to ourselves and others, we need them to relate to the world around us, and yet they can be sneaky little buggers that often cause great amounts of suffering. Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung considered complexes to be splinter personalities within the psyche, and these personalities often respond radically differently than the values we identify with consciously. They are autonomous, unconscious parts that when activated can take the conscious self over completely. As Jung famously said,
“Everyone knows nowadays that people 'have complexes'. What is not so well known, though far more important theoretically, is that complexes can have us.”- Carl Jung
When we are in the grips of a complex it can truly feel as though we are possessed. Rational willpower alone cannot help us to evade being swept up by obsessive thinking and hyper-charged emotion. We know a complex has us when we experience reactivity, compulsion, and seemingly infinite thought loops.
We may be wandering along in everyday life, believing we know ourselves and our values, and are acting in line with them until bam, we are triggered by a situation or person and what we thought we knew about ourselves goes out the window. We are possessed by an autonomous splinter personality. These splinter personalities have splinter scripts. Narratives that run through our minds, often obsessively. They also have a powerful charge that can be felt in amplified emotion and body sensation. When we are taken by a complex, we are in an altered state governed by these autonomous narratives and emotions. The ego or conscious self is not in control at this point, however much it likes to believe it is!
It is thought that complexes have two main parts: a vulnerable, wounded core and a defensive protective shell. They are a cluster of our own history. They arise from our wounds which can range from one horrible event to a series of lesser ones. No matter who we are, just by the fact of being human, by the time we are adults we have suffered innumerable psychic injuries from surface of the skin scratches to deep wounding. Inevitably, we have all felt helpless, abandoned, judged, or overwhelmed at some point. These wounds can stem from the culture, our parents, our schools, religions, friends, mentors, wherever. Often, to be able to persevere in our humanhood, we need to split off from or contain, these hurts at least for the time being. These experiences often get pushed into our shadow where the wounded part of us can safely hide, and here we find the core of the complex. These wounded parts develop a protective outer layer or shell, a sort of defense system that is either turned against others through projection or internalized towards ourselves in times of vulnerability in order to have a sense of safety. In this way, this wounded part of the psyche is split off from consciousness.
These wounded aspects of ourselves have not grown. As they defend themselves, they keep themselves in a regressed state. They have not developed or matured since the wound. It can truly feel as though we morph into children or adolescents when we are in a complex’s grips. We are not able to think critically, to hold complexity, to see beyond black and white, all-or-nothing narratives.
To understand complexes, we need to understand projection. Projections can be positive or negative. The nature of negative projection is that it is done unconsciously in an attempt at protecting the wounded internal ones, of eliminating vulnerability and threat. When our psychological history is triggered by an event, or person, or group, the complex’s defense system kicks in.
Projection can be as if there is a foreign body inside of ourselves that believes that everything is someone else's fault, or it can implode inwardly in a belief that it is all our fault, and most often we identify with and believe these internal destructive voices. When the defense system is turned towards ourselves can at best function like an overprotective parent, at worst an inner dictator or an abusive prison guard. They can tell us that we are worthless, we don’t deserve to be loved, that we should be ashamed of ourselves, or even that we don’t deserve to live.
What's more, complexes have an inner coherence, they gather evidence for the defensive narratives with blinders on, disregarding anything that threatens their story. For example, if the defensive narrative is “I am not good enough,” the complex will gather and twist all evidence to validate that narrative and ignore the often ample evidence for the contrary. They hold power over the conscious self through perseveration and strong emotion. And the kicker is that we often can’t recognize that we are in one as we believe these narratives to be the undeniable truth!
So what are we to do with all this? How do we work with our complexes?
Well, right off the bat, and this is bad news for the ego, trying to eliminate them is useless as they cannot be eliminated, and trying to avoid them gives them more energy. Like invasive plant roots they grow and spread if we do not bring conscious curiosity to them.
Complexes can be a way of knowing ourselves deeper and can be a path to transformation. We may not be able to get rid of or avoid complexes, but what we can do is drain them of their charge by moving towards them with curiosity.
Building relationships with the wounded core
When we can see past the defensive shell (easier said than done) and recognize the wounded core of the complex, we can drain the defense system of its energy. If we are able to connect with that wounded aspect of self with compassion and curiosity, build trust and relationship with them, it is possible to better intuit and tend to their needs. With an increased sense of safety, the defense system may no longer be needed in the same way.
Personification
Personification can be helpful when identifying the protective shell and connecting with the wounded core. When we personify, imagining that part as a figure, perhaps an inner child or another autonomous being can be helpful to disidentify with and differentiate from them, creating greater space to build relationships. When we get to know them, circle around them, they do not have as much power over us.
Some tangible ways of building this relationship can be: engaging in the practice of active imagination, communicating with them through writing, actively engaging with their energy through creative practice such as painting, drawing, sculpting, or dance.
Notice your triggers
Notice who triggers you and why. If that person is a problem, most of the time, there is something in us that is being hooked by how this person is acting. When we can identify that hook we have a great chance of transformation.
Notice your symptoms
When is it that you are perseverating? What are you perseverating about? Do you have any somatic symptoms? These can range from increased heart rate to panic attacks and physical illness. The more unconscious a complex, the more symptoms present somatically. When we are distressed or exhausted we more easily fragment.
Work with your dreams
Complexes show up in our dreams as dream figures. They are easier to recognize in this way. Pay attention to your dreams, keep a dream journal, practice associating to the people, places, and things in your dreams and you may be surprised at what you see. Nightmares can show us that a complex needs attention.
Be curious about your everyday roles
Bring a curiosity to your relationships. How do you show up in your partnerships, in your parenting, in your friendships, in your work dynamics? What stands out to you?
Notice the gaps
You know those times when you are on autopilot, when you miss the turn while driving, miss the bus stop, put the crackers in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard? Ask yourself what you were thinking about while you were in that gap of consciousness. Noticing these gaps and what we were thinking about can give us clues to the complexes that are vying for our attention.
Complexes are necessary, they are neither good nor bad, even if they can feel tyrannical. By bringing them to consciousness we begin to free ourselves from their tyranny. Jung famously said,
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Working with complexes can spark transformation. By bringing conscious curiosity to our complexes we reclaim autonomy and authority from long-standing patterns, both internally and externally that have us in their grips. It is my hope that this blog has piqued your curiosity, stay tuned for part two, cultural complexes.
